I met some of the worst Indian gangsters, street thugs, and criminals the other day. It was a really awkward encounter, as it happened at 8am outside the Imax theatre. I had met some friends for a treasure hunt, which is actually a race around Hyderabad that an automobile company organized, where 100’s of cars drove around finding clues, solving them, and racing to a final destination where they would be awarded something close to $5,000. My friend, a real estate agent invited me, and I thought that with my wit and his knowledge of the city, we might stand a chance. Needless to say, we only made it 8 out of the 10 stops before giving up and spending the afternoon at the water park resort.
The morning started on a very bad note, which I blame for our lack of concentration and stamina throughout the contest. Standing outside the theatre, a sudden commotion presented itself on our group. I only knew the fellow that invited me, but we were joined by a crew of 3 other guys, which under any other circumstance I would have felt comfortable to defend me in a fight. You learn a lot about people after just meeting them, and sharing such a confrontational experience with them, and watching them react. That is one thing I have learned in my travels…
This particular morning, the confrontation that took place was initiated by what the locals call “Hijaras,” or Eunuchs. To make a long story short, the belief is that these castrated men wearing saris have special powers which when used to curse someone who does not pay them money upon request, giving bad fortune to the cursed recipient. Most of these Eunuchs were born as men, but it is believed that some were actually born without male of female genitalia . The process of castration is something I would rather not discuss here, but if you would like to read about the origins of this community, please feel free at your leisure.
These people roll around town in groups, like gangs and harass the people that are frightened of them. They are some of the wealthiest people in town, earning something close to $100k per year supposedly. They have such a strong network, that they know about every wedding and child birth in town, and show up on the day of the family celebration and cause a ruckus, singing and dancing and disturbing the event until they are payed to leave. When this source of revenue is not enough, they just stroll around town, stopping cars, or approaching random folks, like the group I was with, and demand payment. When they are unsatisfied with the payment, or the response in general, they rudely flash their missing genitals, curse and touch the person in the most uncomfortable ways you can think of.
I have heard and seen these people before. They are rumored to have the strength or 3 men, being build like bulls, but as feminine as Martha Stewert. When the group of 5 of them approached us, I considered several ways I could react. I thought about my uncle in Canada, who told me he once got so irritated that he hit one in the face, and ran away. I thought about my friend, Ian, who usually handles situations like this in an effective manner, and decided he would probably do the same. We were being watched by a group of 50 or 60 people outside the park, who were mostly amused my my facial expressions at the time. As I prepared to go Oscar Del-D’Mello on a particular enu-thug, I looked at the guys faces around me, as they helplessly gave up the money being asked. I was shocked to see one of these Hijaras‘ grab a $20 bills from my friends wallet, and him just stand still. Fear is something the face never hides.
I gave these people 20 rupees, hoping that it would suffice. It just got them to bother me more. I decided that there was probably a good explanation why the men around me were so frightened, however I refused to pay out anymore, and ignored them until they finally left. Luckily one of the other guys gave them 700 rupees so they left. Their 10 minutes of harassment earned them the equivalent of $40. That is $240 per hour….the rate of a decent lawyer. (I know a few lawyers who might get along with these people)
I held back a lot of insults to the guys around me for their reaction to the situation, as they explained to me that they genuinely fear the curses that the Hijaras‘ put on them. Furthermore, they explained that if we were to put up a fight, the 50 – 60 people around us would have sided with the Hijaras and it would have been, as my friend Ian likes to say, “A really bad scene.” They were upset they lost so much money, but glad the the 3000 rupees in my wallet was safe. That is the part of the Indian mentality that has really touched me, the people who care more for their guests welfare than their own, even when money is involved.
A part of me wants to make a documentary on this community….It is really fascinating how they exist, and profit from human fear. The sad thing is that since they can’t reproduce, in many cases little boys are kidnapped and forced into this lifestyle. Some people also believe that since a homosexual lifestyle in India is prohibited, this is the alternative many young confused men seek. Young men are said to save up for months for the operation to join the community in some places, and it is estimated that the total population of these “girly men” is over one million people. They are arguably India’s “Third Gender.”
My time is nearly up here, but the adventure seems to only be beginning. I had a lot of concerns about coming out to India for this project, many people have spoke quite negatively about working with Indian vendors, including even many Indians I spoke with. Some of the challenges were there when we started, but we found ways to work around them, and create a unique dynamic that seems to be working. Check out the office…
[The Office]
[Front of the Office]
[My receptionist Yaswanthi]
[Inside the US Embassy of Hyderabad]
[The Lounge]
[Marketing Dept]
[Engineering Dept]
[Sitting with the directors of Threshold -Bharath, Ram, Shiva, Nevine, Prashanth, and Ramu]
Business and money aside, I was very honored that they would think about inviting me to their hometown of Tirupati. This weekend is Diwali, the biggest festival in India, and everyone gets together with their families to celebrate the festival of lights. I grew up participating in dances at the Diwali function in Kalamazoo, much to my displeasure and my mothers amusement of forcing me to wear strange costumes, and involve myself in silly dance moves on stage while hundreds of Indians in the audiences clapped and whistled to their favorite songs.
At the time I was petrified of the whole thing, imagining what my American friends would say if they saw me like that, but today I am thankful I was forced to do it. Now, instead of wearing a costume, practicing dance moves for months, collecting a trophy and hiding any picture/video that could tie me to such an event, I am going to be joining 30,000 daily pilgrims along with the 5 founding members of my partnering company to one of the most beautiful parts of India to celebrate it in a small town with the local people. It should be a wild experience, and I am trying to prepare myself to adjust to any situation that might present itself to me, as every day is going to be something brand new for me.
I am anxious to meet the families of the men I work with. They have been raised to be outstanding gentleman, who truly care about each other and show a level of friendship which we do not see too often in the US. They all are roommates, business partners, and best friends, and I have felt the extension of this friendship through this thoughtful gesture of inviting me to Tirupati. It was nice enough for them to invite me to play on their cricket team. The 6 of us are usually good for 1 or 2 jokes each day, which really makes the environment in the office fun. I brought some trail mix to the office yesterday, which my mom had brought from the US. I offered this to a few people, saw a favorable response to the new food, and decided to walk around and offer some of the snack to the 20 some people in the office. It was damn amusing to see their reactions to the various mix or nuts, fruits and candy. One of the larger men in the office got the biggest laugh when he snatched the bag away from my hands when I offered him a handful. I finally had to tell him that he could get sick from too much trail mix, so that I could get some of the bag back. A mild mannered and entertaining fellow, he had the entire office hysterical with laughter at the time. I have noticed that remarks about peoples weight in the office is not offensive here, as its usually he first observation someone makes about you when meeting.
I have a pretty clever Diwali gift up my sleeve for the office, which I am working on getting. The season is very similar to Christmas, as many people exchange presents with friends and families. This morning, to start the celebration in the office, we had a pooja. The people in the office welcomed me to participate in the tradition, and I was given my first red dot on the forehead, drank coconut water, and was showered with flower petals on my hair. Very interesting way to spend a Monday morning in the office. They seemed thankful that I joined them without any hesitation. Enjoy the pictures coming soon….
-Jason
Indian Karaoke is something that will always be dear to my anglo–indian/goan heart.
A few years back, joined by uncle in Karaoke bar in Bandra (Bombay) I serenaded the prettiest girl in the watering hole that night, to a tune which Tom Cruise brilliantly lip sang in a bar….”You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”- Righteous Brothers. The duet was a hit, and the delivery couldn’t have gone better. Like George in Seinfeld’s “The Burning”, I decided to leave on a high note, and avoid the Japanese custom, which is translated to “empty orchestra,” for nearly 3 years, following Jerry’s advice: “Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and
walk off……That’s the way they do it in Vegas.”
Tonight, after being invited out to Hyderabad’s own “Ten Downing Street” – TDS as the locals call it, I was forced to take the mic up one more time. It may have been a pretty site, but it sounded awful. I was not too thrilled about singing karaoke without a wing man, my uncle in Bombay fills that void without a problem, but tonight, none of my table guests were willing to humiliate themselves. So I took the plunge alone, requested the song I knew I could win the people’s hearts with….after all the original singers of the song overdosed on Cocaine in a hotel in my hometown of Kalamazoo not too long ago – the least I could do was sing their song in my new home of Hyderabad.
The problem with Karaoke lay not in the vocalist, I am convinced. I can sing along to any song I know on the radio without missing a beat, maybe a few notes here and there if it is a Mariah Carey song, but I am confident that I can hold my own. No, my problem with this skill is having to adjust to video of a song when the timing of the highlighted words go off. Totally throws of my perception, and my sense of tone in consequence, resulting in sounds I would not wish upon anyone. That is exactly what happened tonight. There is nothing worse as a karaoke artist, than when the song starts skipping. At least the chorus came and I regained my composure leaving the song with some dignity, but I was secretly hurting inside….My street cred from Bombay 2 years back was no longer.
Some commentary on the night otherwise. The song selections were quite funny. Mostly slow love songs like “Lady in Red” and “Dream Dream Dream.” A few of my favorite songs, that have played in Indian parties without a fail for the past 20 years included “Coma coma coma coma coma Chameleon, they come and go, they come and go oh oh oh.” and “Give me Hope, Johanna”
One of the fellows in this pub tonight was heavy into gangster rap. He rapped the Puff Daddy part over Stings”Watching you” even though they monitor did not display them. He busted out 50 cent’s “In The Club.” Alanis Morresette’s annoying voice has plagued me in every bar since getting to India, and tonight, although her voice was replaced with some British woman’s, it just made things worse. I loathe the song “Ironic”
To conclude the night recap, I admit that I was not as considerate as I could have been been. My guilty feet walked me over to a man with no rhythm and stole the mic away for the last song of Karaoke at TDS. In tribute to my friend back in the US, who worships George Michaels, and has been known to rock the song “Careless Whisper,” I hijacked the stage and put some much needed soul into this classic. I believe George Michael has gone down a tough road recently, a few trips to prison in addition to his semi tarnished reputation overall. I still think we owe him a thank him, at least a mach3, for sharing this song with us. I want to believe that the crowd at TDS thanked me for sharing the song I selfishly stole from another with them tonight. The highlight was when the host of the night did a memorable harmonizing bit with me at the end during the words “now that your gone.”
I believe that I did redeem myself tonight from the earlier performance, leaving the night on top, like Costanza. It will take a lot of convincing for me to change this status, and take the mic again, but then again I am off to Bombay tomorrow.
Carelessly,
Jason
Today I remembered this blog while telling someone about the wedding crashing story in Bombay back in 2005. I have been unable to access this blog, as Google took over and it was a bit of a challenge to find my old account info to transfer. (I forgot my password) Having recently been much more focused and dedicated to my latest writing project, “A Hyderabadass,” I have decided to resurrect this tale of my early 20’s, when I first started my adventure of traveling the world and learning about international business.
Nostalgically,
Jason
A few pictures from the post game celebration….GO INDIA!
Australia is coming to play India next month in Hyderabad. I am trying to get tickets, but have heard its nearly impossible. Will keep you posted. Promise to write about other things instead of cricket coming this week…
-Jason
I have lived in Hyderabad for 10 days now and have spent a complete day just sitting in a car. 30 hours in my Tata Indica with my driver, Satyam.
I don’t think Americans will ever appreciate what the Indian driver experiences on the roads here, until seeing first hand the chaos. Uncle told me a story this morning about a US professor who came to Hyderabad to teach a course. Halfway through his stay, he admitted to his fellow colleagues that he came to India an Atheist, but will be leaving a religious man, as he found no explanation besides God on how the traffic in this city manages to work with such little casualty to civilians. I agree 100% with him, it is a perfect example of organized chaos.
Here is a video to give an example of the road rules in India.
I haven’t decided on the most efficient way to spend 3 hours of daily commuting. Most of the time is spent in a language struggle with Satyam, either trying to understand him, or trying to tell him something. Still, he probably understands me more than most people. He tried to cheer me up after the church incident, and has explained to me his philosophy on life, wealth, happiness.
When I asked him if he enjoyed living in Hyderabad, he responded to me “Sir, it is who I am.” A year ago, his wife fell ill with a disease that has had her in bed for 4 months, in and out of the hospital. He told me about past jobs that hes been at, hoping to get to a comfortable situation in life where he can work hard, but yet have no problem providing for his family. Yesterday, I realized that he had some hopes in working for me that might not have been too realistic. He clearly has no idea what my business is, but assumed I had come to start an IT company in India. He asked me for a job in in my company, saying that he could be a watchman or do work with our office building, and said he would be willing to do anything, or learn how to do anything. He is constantly trying to sell real estate to me that he doesn’t own, which is just hilarious. One time he asked I would hire him as my driver back in the US so he could immigrate to America. I responded jokingly, telling him that the US roads could not handle his driving ability.
Satyam’s son is 8 years old, speaks perfect English, and his father hopes to send him to college so that he can work in one of the large IT buildings. I recently heard that the majority of people in the city are really confused about the IT buildings in the city. They can’t understand what is being built inside them, but still continue to romanticize the thought of their children someday working inside them.
The most interesting thing of my stay so far has been trying to understand the thought process of people here. It is not my place to judge whether or not their beliefs and customs are right or wrong, but I think the first step in my understanding of them is to embrace the differences. Keeping an open mind over here is critical to any foreigners survival – I can just picture the danger of slipping up just once, and letting personal beliefs cause conflict with locals.
Uncle told me an incredible story this afternoon. We were sitting down and going through his grandson’s wedding album and he turned to a page of him and a friend blessing the married couple. He told me that it was his best friend for 60 years, who ironically has the same name. They talk everyday and I was surprised to hear about their history as social activists. He told me that early in their youth, they would have noble thoughts and one day decided to make a social statement and both get married to widowed women.
I would have thought nothing of this, but I had just read an article about the abuse and alienation widows in India can experience. Thankfully this is horrible mentality is fading away. Uncle told me that his friend and him were disgusted with how the women were shaved, deprived of good clothing and food, just because their husbands had expired. He said that his friend and him did this break a tradition that he knew were wrong. It was a touching story, which I may not done justice in trying to recap on this blog.
Chaotically,
-Jason
I had one electrical converter in my possession, which connects me to the Internet, media entertainment, photography and videography equipment, and the telephone, and I have lost it! So for tonight I have just 24 minutes to update the blog. The past 2 days have been incredibly busy. I have immersed myself in this project, and building a positive relationship with my technology partner out here. In the coming 3 weeks, the project will undergo a blueprinting process, where we identify all the possible features and applications that will go into the site, prioritize them, lay out a visual design for organizing the information while simplifying the entire customer flow, and presenting this information in a testable format that we can get qualitative research with before executing any development work. To add to this challenge, I have created a mini project that will have the team do individual competitive testing on relevant sites, introduce them to the US market for the industry we are entering, and consolidate findings into an actionable presentation that we can incorporate into our qualitative research as well as our list of priorities for our engineers… I apologize if that was all jargon and incredibly boring, as I don’t know exactly who is reading this, but after a few comments felt I should say something about what I am doing, besides the embarrassment of my everyday Larry David like actions.
I picked up a new book, by Donald Norman called “The Design of Everyday Things.” I met Mr Norman at a Guy Kawasaki speech in Silicon Valley a few months ago, and he seemed to have built up quite the street cred, so when I saw his book on sale in a small book store in Secunderabad for just 300 Rupees, I had to pick it up. In addition, I picked up a few ancient Sanskrit written stories (now in English) which Uncle has referred to in his Brilliant stories of political and ethical lessons during our daily conversations. Ramayana, Mahabharata, and Bhagavad Gita are all on my 4 month reading list during this tenure. I am also fascinated with learning about the Nawabs and the incredibly wealthy Nizam of Hyderabad. As I dive into them, I may from time to time refer to them, as I have a tendency, as Alex Grabowski will tell you, to try to transcribe stories into real life situations. According to Uncle, these stories have been heavily incorporated into German Politics, as there 5000 year old tales still apply to life today. I can’t comment as of yet, but am excited to learn.
I will be adding a video of this city soon this week, as I am excited to use my mac for video editing again. Stay tuned for that and pictures (yes, including my driver Satyam) to come soon.
A few interesting facts…I saw today that India’s retail market is projecting at being valued at nearly 1,200,000 crores, with less than 4% of it attributed to organized retail.
Weird News Story Update! (Below)
An Indian businessman accused of several bank scams swallowed a
knife to avoid being brought back to India for trial. He refused surgery as doctors said it could be fatal to fly with a knife in his stomach. The authorities finally caught up, however: bringing him back on a plane full of medics. The knife is still lodged in his gut. (courtesy of
http://truemors.com)
Best,
Jason
Upon receiving numerous suggestions from friends and colleagues I have decided to create a blog to document the latest chapter in my life, a four month trip to Hyderabad India.
This past year, with the help of some talented folks in Detroit and San Francisco, I have started a company that has pushed me away from corporate life for the time being, into an the role of an entrepreneur dabbling in online community space.
This is by far the greatest risk I have ever taken in my life so far, and hope that it proves to be a learning experience that will expose me to international business and new cultures in a land far from home. I have lived in New Zealand and England, but this will be my first time living in a non English speaking country. With family and new friends near by, the transition to Hyderabad life should be interesting and not too painful. My only concern at the moment is the political stability of the country.
Recently there was a terrorist attack in a public park and restaurant, killing nearly 40 innocent people. I hope to avoid any religious/political conflicts out there, and engage myself in the rapidly developing business world that Hyderabad is famous for. While being tied up to successfully launching our final product for 2008, I will dive deep into the local music scene and explore opportunities within bollywood. I promise to keep updating this blog with exciting developments, and welcome any advice/comments as I go along. I get a rush when I think about where I am right now with no set path ahead of me. The excitement of life is at an all time high, and thank you all for being a part of it with me as friends and family. My flight is literally boarding right now, so I am off for the 18 hour flight to Mumbai, India.
Best regards,
-Jason
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